There are times when disability is simply exhausting. And I’m not even talking about simply the energy that it takes to manoeuvre in a world not created with you in mind, or dealing with the attitudes of those who feel that for the grace of God there they did not go. For me, this past couple of days, and looking at the calendar for the future, it’s been a bout of planning and replanning and looking at this option and ruling out that possibility.
The break down of my wheelchair has made everything difficult. My scooter is really only to be used sparingly as it’s really, really, really old and you can hear it working when it’s driven. Though it’s a sturdy machine, I don’t want to over do it. For example, yesterday we had booked a ride down to the theatre where Joe and I and the girls were going to see ‘Sleeping Beauty’ a Holiday Panto but we’d not booked a ride back. We thought we’d all just walk home.
My flat tire chair would have no trouble with this, it isn’t fazed by something like this, even though it’s a long ride and uphill most of the way. But the scooter, the distance and the rise had me worried. I tried to get a ride with WheelTrans, last minute, and finally managed a ride that wasn’t optimum for us, but it was sterling for the chair.
After we got home and the kids went back to their Dad’s place, we had to sit and go through all our upcoming plans and figure out how we would manage, what changes we had to make and then decide if the energy needed was worth the effort. Happily we planned through it all and have strategies that allow us to make each event.
But it’s work.
Really a lot of work.
There’s a mental fatigue that comes from negotiating the world, even in the best of circumstances, with a disability – but wow, does that multiply quickly when a spanner is thrown into the works.
