Demonstrate Deserving

When I first saw it I felt a twinge on sadness approaching despair. It is impossible as a Canadian not to be overwhelmed by the news flowing north of the border, it is impossible not to be shaken by what we hear and see. The most recent comments by the President of the United States of America regarding ‘shithole’ countries was more than appalling, it was disturbing. It also resulted in a wave of responses from those who, and it shocks me that it’s not all of us, that kind of racism expressed by someone in high office, though not, as many Americans think, the leader of the free world.

One of those responses was a video wherein people from those ‘shithole’ countries talk about them and their accomplishments and their and their families contribution to American society. They speak with passion and with pride and with a clear message of ‘we belong.’ They list the successes they’ve had, the contributions they made and it’s, in its way, moving.

But as a gay, disabled, person I worried about the message behind the message, “We’re good ones!” I found that myself first as a gay man, when I would list the accomplishments of the LGBT communities and would freely list people like James Baldwin, Bayard Rustin, Oscar Wilde, Christine Jorgenson and Sally Ride. There are many many more. My message, “See these famous LGBT people? See the contributions?” Then I’d list some of my own contributions.” It never worked, all I was doing was saying that we LGBT people don’t naturally belong we have to demonstrate deserving to belong.

We aren’t just Canadians, we are people who need to prove worth.

Of course, the lesson didn’t stick, when I became disabled, I began, very quickly to do the same thing. I could list all sorts of famous people with disabilities.

I researched to find them and would use them in arguments with people whose ‘death before disability’ ideas frightened me. To that, I began to list my achievements after disability. See, I still contribute, see,
I still earn a living, see, I’m still worthy.

Again I was struggling to demonstrate deserving.

Again I felt that my citizenship wasn’t a given.

Again I built a ramp so I could push myself up to equality.

But I am Canadian.

Recent immigrants to Canada are Canadians, they don’t need to go on television and prove themselves worthy of their citizenship.

American immigrants don’t need to display accomplishments before a leader who will never see them as mattering.

What matters is that you are American.

What matters is that you are Canadian.

What matters is that bigotry is always a wrong.

And that your existence is always a right.

I am who I am and I am fully and proudly different. Bigots may lash out. The prejudiced may get in my way. But I am, with all of my difference, defiantly flying the flag of my citizenship.

I belong.

And I don’t need to prove to anyone why that’s true.

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