I was working out using one of the cable machines, it was set at a fairly significant weight, and my eyes were closed as I was exercising. All I was doing was counting the repetitions and, for me, that’s easier to do with my eyes closed. I was at the number 28 when I heard a voice commenting about weight. I opened my eyes to see an elderly man, with a kind face, in workout kit.
Now I’m so used to people making comments about my weight, total strangers, that I put him in that category, what else could he have said. As the words started out of my mouth, my brain computed what he had said and it was ‘You are lifting a lot of weight there.” He was complimenting me on what I was doing and how hard I was working. But the ‘retort’ was on it’s way out. I managed to stop what I was going to say but I was not able to turn the words into a statement that held any meaning. He looked confused, not about my words, which would have been understandable but by my tone, which I hadn’t been able to switch, and it had been hostile.
So, I just behaved like a jerk whose words make no sense at all.
I continued on working out and waiting for an opportunity to say something to him, anything, to prove that I’m less of a jerk than he might think and that I can string a sentence together. None came.
This is no excuse but no one had ever spoken the word ‘weight’ to me in a complimentary manner. I had to realize that I was working with weights that are set at levels much higher than they were when I started and heavier that I though was possible for me. I was going to have to be careful.
Finally I saw the old guy using the machine I use every time I go, the arm ergometer, when he finished and headed back my way I said “That’s a great machine, isn’t it, great upper body workout.”
“Yes, yes, it is,” he said and smiled.
Nice old guy. Great that he’s there. He’s got the gift of encouragement.
I’m working to have better control over my verbal reflexes and to be more willing and more ready to think better of others as a starting point.
