The Key Didn’t Work: a question

So much of my life as a disabled person revolves around bathroom issues.

Is it accessible, can I get into the stall and close the door, how heavy is the door into the bathroom – will it break my footrests, can I use the toilet, where are the bars, and the like. Then there’s the need I have to simply not being a jerk and not thinking my disability needs trump anyone else’s need.

It’s a physical and emotional and cognitive challenge just to get around, just to use the toilet, the most basic of needs.

I’m staying in a wonderful hotel, with an amazing room and welcoming staff. The public washrooms though aren’t so great.

Many I can’t get my chair in the stall and none are good for going number 2, for that I need to go to my room.

I can make this work.

On our first day here, we checked in early and then used our time differently. Joe went to pick up beer, I went to the gym.

The gym has some accessible equipment and I really wanted to get some real exercise in.

I’d done about an hour work out and then had to go to the bathroom.

The key card did not open the bathroom in the gym and I was afraid that it wouldn’t work in the room either.

I headed downstairs with a bit of urgency.

There were hundreds of people checking in and the line up were long.

I knew from the morning the the concierge was able to check people in so I went to his desk.

There were three people in front of me. I had to go to the bathroom, I couldn’t use any of the public bathrooms and my key to my room wasn’t working. I’m getting increasingly panicked.

The women in front of me all looked very nice. They all looked understanding.

But they also looked tired from travel and that they’d been patiently waiting their turn.

I had to fight down the urge to ask to just get my key card redone so I could go to my room and thus go to the bathroom which I really needed to do.

I don’t like, and I know you won’t believe this, talking about my bathroom needs with real, in the flesh, strangers.

I don’t like the idea of them thinking that I’m thinking that my need is bigger and more important than theirs.

I don’t like the possibility that they may think I’m using my disability to get to the head of the line.

I don’t like any of those things, but mostly I don’t want to be thought a needy jerk, a man who puts himself before others.

So, I waited my turn. With moist eyes I told the concierge what it was I needed and it was fixed quickly and I was up in my room in moments.

Thank heavens.

I’ve faced the bathroom issue pretty much every day since becoming disabled. It’s the balancing act I’m wondering about.

Do any of you have issues when needing something disability related, that non disabled people don’t worry about – like bathroom access, and worrying about how to deal with the balance between your needs and the needs of others?

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